My goals in life are as follows:
1. Be a good mom
2. Be a good wife
3. Be good in general
4. Help those less fortunate
5. Become a famous author
6. Be able to finally live comfortably wiithout worrying where money will come from (not rich, just stable)
7. Become a photographer for the less fortunate
Let me elaborate on 7: I wish to start my own business where I am able to take professional pictures for people during senior pictures, birth, wedding, graduation and anything in between for either a very small fee or for free. I love taking pictures, but I dont think it is fair that some people never or rarely get nice pictures to keep just because they cant afford it.
I am not rich, in fact I still struggle often to pay bills. I shouldn’t waste money on things I don’t need and I try not to. When I do “splurge” I usually buy something for my husband or daughter. I don’t like to buy stuff for myself unless I need it. Since living in Las Vegas, I have spent many nights wondering if I would have power in the morning, or if my cell phone would work. We have had food stamps because we cant afford all of our bills and groceries. We literally live off the $200 we were getting from the state because sometimes checks weren’t enough to buy anymore. Especially during holidays. We are so very lucky to have family and friends, because without them, our daughter wouldn’t get much for Christmas this year with all the extra bills.
I had this big elaborate awesome party planned for my husband for his 30th birthday, but it wont be nearly as big since we got a letter in the mail saying that we have to register our car again, right before our next check comes in. Plus here in Vegas we have to have a smog test done.
Of the checks we get a month, we pay out on average 1,000 in bills that are monthly. That leaves anywhere from 500-800(on a goooood month) dollars to use for groceries, gas, car repairs, diapers, baby food, and recreational uses.
Right now we have an oil leak in our car which we have the part to fix, but the repair shop is going to charge us 6-800 in labor because Pontiac decided to be a PITA and make the gasket insanely hard to get to. So we pay $10 a week toward oil to put back into the car. Plus the shocks are shot in the back, only 1 window rolls down because the last owner tried to install automatic window motors and screwed it up. We didnt know all this when we bought the car.
On to the next issue. Direct TV apparently is allowed to take money out of your account without warning. So I had canceled it because we couldnt afford satellite and we had a bill of $300 left over. I was PLANNING on paying in small increments as soon as we could afford it, but they just kept charging our card until it went through, literally minutes after my husband’s check went through. This check was only for $500 ish dollars, and we had to pay rent in only a few days. So we had to sell some things around the house to come up with enough money for rent. Then they tell me I owe them another 250 which they take out of our account 2 weeks later with no warning again. So we had barely gotten rent paid and TADA another charge that we couldnt afford because they said we didnt return the boxes. We moved 5 months before that and had never received the shipping boxes they sent to our old residence. So I had to go get those from our friends and mail their equipment back to them. Did they refund the money? Yeah. Half of it. A month later.
Since then, we had ok months and thought hey we can splurge a bit right now. But every time we do, it ends up kicking our butts later in one way or another.
Solution? Cancel our old debit cards for starters, then get a new job that is more predictable.
So we did, and slowly (like molasses in the winter slowly) we are coming back up. We only have a $58 dollar electric bill due the 15th next month after owing almost $500 because of direct tv and missing bills. Our phone bill is still outrageous, and gets shut off every single month because it’s due near the beginning of the month when rent is due. We cant afford both.
The worst part of all is that we could have amazing credit if we suddenly came into 10,000 to completely clear all of our past debts. Since it isn’t likely that we will just happen upon a $10,000 bill, we will do our best to catch up, even if it takes us 50 years.
Now that I am done complaining, I want to add that through all of this, though I am in debt to my ears, I am rich. I have a wonderful loving family in Illinois that helps me when they can, a beautiful baby girl who has inspired me to be my best and keep trying no matter what I’m thrown. I have a loving, supportive, caring husband who would kill anyone who tried to hurt me or our daughter (I think it’s romantic) even though he’s a teddy bear, and the best friends a girl could ask for that I miss dearly.
I have some friends that I have never met, but I would love to some day. They keep me going and lend a supportive ear when I am struggling with personal drama, and they are the best group of mommas to admin/own a page with. I sincerely wish them the best in their endeavors and hope I can help them as much as they help me.
I am not a negative person and I hate that my life has been filled with so much sadness and other negativity. The small bit I have expressed here is only a piece, and I may write about the other hardships eventually. For now though, I just simply want to thank each person that has made me who I am today.
There are so many that I cant name them all here, but I am eternally grateful, even to those people who are no longer in my life because they hurt me. I am all the better for having known you, so I know who to steer clear from in the future 😉
I want to help people. Someday I will be able to start my photography business and make someone’s life just a little brighter. Sorry for it being so long, but thank you for reading to those who have taken the time to read what I had to say.
Signing off for now ❤